you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
