I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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