I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
