i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
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I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
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I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Never underestimate the power of titties
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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