Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
