I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
