I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
