I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
