wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
