Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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