do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
