I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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