we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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