I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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