What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
