I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I'm bleeding and have questions
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
