I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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