i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
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We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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