just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
