we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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