I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
