I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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