awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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