Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
