Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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