I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize