I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
