They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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