Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize