I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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