coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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