Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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