think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i will never coherently bang her
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
