Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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