Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
It's blow job season.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
