She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
