I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
