would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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