every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
