I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
