i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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