I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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