found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
