god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Randomize
