OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
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