Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
