We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
