I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I need to sanitize my soul.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
