Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'm both gender and math confused
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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