my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
