im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
