He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
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