it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
