babies were throwing up all over the place
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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