it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
