I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Randomize
