sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
