So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
