we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
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The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize