so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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