i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
