My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
