you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
two words...techno handjob
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I need to sanitize my soul.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
