Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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