Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
